Excerpted from "The Book of Forgiving," by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Reverend Mpho Tutu.
"We sit in the midst of our hurt and loss, and we face the choice of which path to take: retribution or reconciliation.
We can choose to harm or we can choose to heal. It does not matter how long we have carried our suffering or how briefly.
It does not matter whether the other person is contrite or remorseless.
It does not matter if the one who harmed us does not acknowledge or admit the harm.
It does not matter if we believe that person has not paid for his or her crimes against us, because, as we have said, forgiveness is not a choice you make for someone else; it is a choice you make for yourself.
Forgiveness is rarely easy, but it is always possible."