Anoint My Heart For Worship
My Loving Father pouring anointing oil over my heart; anointing and consecrating my heart for worship.
This is a beautiful vision the Holy Spirit inspired recently as I was praying. The realization that I have been back on the autobahn of life again (previous post http://goministry.net/?p=200) left me feeling tired, anxious, frustrated, and deeply missing my dedicated alone time with Jesus. As I was praying about this at a recent prayer Gathering at GO, the lyrics of Misty Edwards’ soaking prayer music were like healing balm to my ears and heart “anoint my heart for worship.” And at that very moment, I could see the Loving Father doing just that.
As life appears to be settling back down, I know I need to take a deep, honest look as to why I allow myself to continually get into this cycle. What allows the enemy of my soul free access to my time?
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” Psalm 139:23
God alone knows what lies beneath surface that drives me, that tempts me, that pulls me away from Him, that leaves my heart in dire need of His anointing.
So I ask “What does the inside of me say about the outside of me?”
Under my activities, under my feelings, under my words, under my purposeful inner thoughts, under my unconscious churning, what is the inside of me saying about how the outside of me lives? What feelings and desires and dreams and fears are without words? Who am I trying to be or what I am I trying to cover up?
Brennan Manning writes in Reflections for Ragamuffins: “The relentless tenderness of Jesus challenges us to give up our false faces, our petty conceits, our irritating vanities, our preposterous pretending and become card-carrying members of the messy human condition.”
I know full well that I am a messy human. What I want to know is what false faces, vanities and preposterousness is getting in the way of my heart being fully a-washed in the anointing oil of worship? “You, God, know my folly; my guilt is not hidden from you.” (Psalm 69:5)
I will be spending designated devotion time these next weeks purposefully beseeching God for insight into this battle of my soul. Stay tuned for insights and I would love to hear from you some humble, growth moments of truth you may have gleaned from similar journeys.
And as I listen and learn, Lord, continue to pour your healing, soothing anointing oil over this heart that longs to worship you.